Note: If you’re spending the holidays solo this year but want to be around loved ones, know that you’re not alone. Here are 9 self-care tips from those who have spent the holidays alone in the past and from those who are spending them alone this year. 

By now, many of us are putting our Milano dinner looks together, we’re figuring out who else we finna get a plate from, and we’re dreaming about that one dish that mama/auntie/grandma makes every year that never disappoints. 

All in all, the holidays are a time to be around love, to give thanks for how much we have (though we should do this every day), to make unforgettable memories with our biological/chosen family and friends, and last but not least...it’s the perfect time for (respectful) clapbacks.  

Dreamer, you owe it to yourself to protect your dreams and to block all negativity that tries to prosper and shake your focus. And while we do agree that silence is golden, if you have an auntie, cousin, friend etc. who always has a tone or a doubt to throw at your dreams, it’s okay to respond. Just do it respectfully. Here are 6 ways to do this without causing a scene:

1) “How your lil business doing?”  

Clapback: My empire (put emphasis on it) is thriving. Every day, I learn something new, and I’m watching it grow right in front of my eyes. Thanks for asking.  

2) “Everybody selling that. You should find something else to do. That market is too saturated.” 

Clapback: I appreciate you telling me that, but I’m not really worried about the market or who’s selling what. I have my own sauce that other people don’t have, and other people have their sauce that I don’t have. There’s room for everybody. 

3) “I tried that, and it didn’t work out for me. I think you should look for something else to do. I don’t want you to fail like I did.” 

Clapback: I appreciate your concern, and I’m honestly sorry to hear that it didn’t work out for you. I know it must have been tough. I feel confident in my decision though. I have the tools and the people I need to succeed. Plus, I’m also not afraid to fail. Failure is success in progress.

4) “You don’t have no experience in that. Do something you know how to do.” 

Clapback: You’re right. I’ve never done this before, but there are a lot of resources out there for me to use, and I’m not afraid to learn something new. I’ve learned that when you truly want something, the answer is never hard to find, so with focus and persistence, I’m confident that I’ll be successful at it. 

5) “That’s a hobby. That ain’t paying no bills. You need something that will pay the bills.” 

Clapback: I know you’re concerned about my finances because you care about me, but I’m putting in the work that’s needed to turn it from a hobby into my main source of income. I have no doubt that I’ll succeed. No need to worry.  

6) “You doing that too? Wasn’t you just doing ______ two months ago?” 

Clapback: Yes, I am. And yes, I was. I have a lot of interests, and I’m blessed to have the ability to freely explore all of them. I can’t choose, and I don’t need to choose. I’m going to explore until I find what works. 

Remember, dreamer: It makes no sense to get upset with family and friends who doubt you and your dreams. You were given the vision, and it’s your responsibility and yours only to execute it. No one else is required to understand it or even support it. Root for yourself. 

P.s. They once doubted Milan too.  

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